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xkcd.com: A webcomic of romance and math humor.

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Messi

Commentators agree that this will probably be the last World Cup in which Messi faces serious competition.

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Tethys

In order to carry the necessary crafting supplies, they built the ships at 12:1 scale.

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Plate Flip

It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.

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Beam Pipe

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom

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Nostalgia Content

Gen-Z got a chunk of the Carboniferous, and now all their memes are about how pathetic and small today's dragonflies are.

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Planetary Science

The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.

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Detector

No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.

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Sunbeam

While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, the unconscious ability of astronomers and astrophotographers to summon clouds is more properly classified as a curse.

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Ancestral Genomes

SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.

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Time Machine Conversation

It's possible to do sea navigation without a compass, but you'll have to get some spoilers from the Polynesians.

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Flag Design

Every place has a local cryptid; more places need a local Pictish Beast, a creature in historical art that's drawn so weirdly that no one can tell what animal it's supposed to be.

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Neutrino Project

We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.

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182.8 Meters

They rounded down to 182.8 instead of rounding up to 182.9 because 182.9 might make the statement incorrect.

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Particle Census

Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.

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Speedrun

Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.

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Results Age

Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you're the last living descendant of the person who knew how to format this config file.

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Pullback Drive

"How does the spring not run out almost immediately?" "We pull it back REALLY far."

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Crystal Gazing

'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.

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Aperiodic Table

Scientists occasionally invent alternative periodic table layouts, which is usually a sign that they don't have enough enrichment in their enclosures.

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Horizontal Stabilizers

It started as a mistake that everyone was afraid to admit to, and then it stuck because removing it 'looks silly.'.

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Bottle

"I know it seems impossible, but the trick is that I sailed in here when I was very young."

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Simple Machines

It's hard to decide which simple machine system to invest in. DeWalt makes a great lever and inclined plane, but I hear Milwaukee's wheel-and-axles are really good.

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Soniferous Aether

Imagine you could ride alongside a sound wave. It would probably be pretty cool, right? We're putting in a departmental budget request to buy a really fast plane so we can check it out.

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Husband and Wife

Borat came out twenty years ago this year--closer to the breakup of the Soviet Union than to today--but it honestly feels like it's been even longer, somehow.

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Border Message

Thanks to differences in logging regulations, the messages actually turned out to be visible from the air.

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Types of Board Game

I can't believe Candles of Vienna caved to commercial pressure and added the Goku expansion.

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Europa Missions

Before resurfacing, they promise to inspect the ice for any evidence of hockey-playing life.

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Make It Myself

It's not as big a loss as it looks, because now I have have leftover supplies, which will help me talk myself into doing this all over again with a new project!

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Countdown Standard

Anyone who is caught counting 'three ... two ... one ... zero ... GO!' will be punished with a lifetime of eating only ISO standard food samples.

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Lightning

Maybe you should wear one too? I guess I'm taller than you, so as long as I have one we're fine.