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xkcd.com: A webcomic of romance and math humor.

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Experimental Astrophysics

Our experiment will be expensive, but we believe it will produce important spin-offs, especially if we manage to hit the sun from the right angle.

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Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia

This projection distorts both area and direction, but preserves Melbourne.

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Ravioli-Shaped Objects

It's a real accomplishment to mess up a ravioli recipe badly enough that the resulting incident touches all four quadrants of the NFPA hazard diamond.

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Solar Protons

If any of you want to meet some cool local oxygen atoms, I can introduce you!

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CIDABM

There's a heated debate over whether the big island of Tierra del Fuego should qualify for membership.

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University Commas

The distinctive 'UCLA comma' and 'Michigan comma' are a long string of commas at the start and end of the sentence respectively.

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Númenor Margaritaville

I see white shores, and beyond it, a far green country under a tequila sunrise.

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Ingredients

Add main-belt asteroids to taste.

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UK Coal

The Watership Down rabbits removed an additional 0.1 nanometers constructing their warren, although that was mostly soil. British rabbits have historically mined very little coal; the sole rabbit-run coal plant was shut down in the 1990s.

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Beamsplitters

Under quantum tax law, photons sent through a beamsplitter don't actually choose which path they took, or incur a tax burden, until their wavefunction collapses when the power is sold.

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Late Cenozoic

Our nucleic acid recovery techinques found a great deal of homo sapiens DNA incorporated into the fossils, particularly the ones containing high levels of resin, leading to the theory that these dinosaurs preyed on the once-dominant primates.

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Physics Lab Thermostat

Hopefully the HVAC people set it to only affect the AIR in the room.

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Maslow's Pyramid

The local police, building inspector, and fire marshal are all contesting my 'safety' assertion, or would be if they could reach me past all the traps.

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Tectonic Surfing

The worst is when you wipe out in the barrel and you're trapped for several million years until erosion frees you.

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Every Scientific Field

Conveniently for everyone, it turns out that dark energy is produced by subterranean parasitoid wasps.

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Craters

It's annoying that the Nastapoka Arc isn't a meteor impact crater, but I truly believe that--with enough time, effort, and determination--we could make it one.

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Asteroid News

Their calculations show it will 'pass within the distance of the moon' but that it 'will not hit the moon, so what's the point?'

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Monocaster

My competitors say the tiny single tiny caster is unsafe, unstable, and offers no advantages over traditional designs, to which I say: wow, why are you guys so mean? I thought we were friends!

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Water Filtration

You'd think the most expensive part would be the quark-gluon plasma chamber, but it's actually usually the tube to the top of the atmosphere to carry the cosmic rays down.

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Slingshots

In my reboot, Dennis the Menace was just trying to send Mr. Wilson a nice comet, but accidentally wiped out his dinosaur garden.

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Lava Lakes

Hey, golf balls float on lava, so this should make recovering them from the hazards easier.

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Sky Alarm

During the day it also activates for neat clouds and pretty sunsets.

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Stranded

At least they're not alone down there.

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Three Kinds of Research

The secret fourth kind is 'we applied a standard theory to their map of every tree and got some suspicious results.'

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Time Traveler Causes of Death

Many a hungry time traveler has Googled 'trilobites shellfish allergy' only to find their carrier had no coverage in the Ordovician.

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Classical Periodic Table

Personally I think mercury is more of a 'wet earth' hybrid element.

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Storage Tanks

We're considering installing a pressurization system to keep the tanks at constant pressure solely to deter them.

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Ferris Wheels

They left the belt drive in place but switched which wheel was powered, so people could choose between a regular ride, a long ride, and a REALLY long ride.

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Helium Synthesis

Our lawyers were worried because it turns out the company inherits its debt from the parent universe, but luckily cosmic inflation reduced it to nearly zero.

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Celestial Event

If we can get a brood of 13-year cicadas going, we might have a chance at making this happen before the oceans evaporate under the expanding sun.