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Sail Physics

Turning in other directions can be accomplished by using a magnetized centerboard and ocean currents, since a current flowing through a magnetic field induces a Laplace force.

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Modern

Scholars are still debating whether the current period is post-postmodern or neo-contemporary.

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Deposition

P.S. If you have time travel, come to my birthday party Saturday!

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Pascal's Law

Reductio ad absurdum fails when reality is absurd.

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Globe Safety

Frankly, given their extreme gravitational fields and general instability, even 12-inch globes should probably be banned.

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About 20 Pounds

In addition to gravity, burritos interact through the strong, weak, and electromagnetic forces, which is believed to be a major contributor to their popularity.

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Unstoppable Force and Immovable Object

Unstoppable force-carrying particles can't interact with immovable matter by definition.

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Jupiter Core

Juno mission data suggests that Jupiter actually contains Matryoshka doll-style nested copies of every other planet in the Solar System.

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Chess Position

It's important to learn the moves that take you into the vortex, but it's best not to study vortex itself too closely. Even grandmasters who have built up a tolerance lose the ability to play for a few hours after studying it.

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PhD Timeline

Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago.

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Tennis Balls

After initial tests created a series of large holes in the wall of the lab, the higher-power Scanning Tunneling Tennis Ball Microscope project was quickly shut down.

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Air Fact

'Wow, that must be why you swallow so many of them per year!' 'No, that's spiders. You swallow WAY more ants.'

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Anchor Screws

The biggest expense was installing the mantle ducts to keep the carbonate-silicate cycle operating.

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de Sitter

Our anti-de Sitter club is small at the moment, but I've started corresponding with the conformal field theory people.

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The Roads Both Taken

When you worry that you're missing out on something by not making both choices simultaneously by quantum superposition, that's called phomo.

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Anachronym Challenge

I have to pay with paper money.

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Push Notifications

NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!

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Tariffs

[later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!

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Stargazing 4

We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.

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Decay Chain

If you have an old phone in a drawer, and you listen very carefully, you can occasionally hear the occasional tap of an emitted SIM card hitting the side of the drawer as the phone transmutes to a lower-end model.

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Orogeny

Most properties can only boast INDOOR heated floors.

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Terror Bird

There has long been debate about Big Bird's species, with some experts claiming he was a canary, but recent genetic analysis places him firmly in Cariamiformes.

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Rock Identification

'Is it worth anything?' 'I dunno, is the answer to that question worth another $5?'

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SawStart

Unfortunately, SawStart is one-use-only. Once started, the blade cannot be stopped, and must be replaced with a fresh blade while the running one is carefully disposed of.

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Cosmic Distance Calibration

This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.

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Square Units

The biggest I've seen in a published source in the wild is an 80-fold error in a reported distance, which I think came from a series of at least three unit conversions and area/length misinterpretations.

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Lungfish

I know having so many base pairs makes rebasing complicated, but you're in Bilateria, so shouldn't you at LEAST be better at using git head?

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Planet Definitions

Under the 'has cleared its orbital neighborhood' and 'fuses hydrogen into helium' definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.

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Off By One

It does come at the small cost of a LOT more off-by-40-or-50 errors.

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Water Balloons

Update: The physics department has recruited an astronomer who studies meteor fireballs.