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Geologic Periods

Geologists claim it's because the earlier Cenozoic used to be called the Tertiary, but that's just a ruse to hide the secret third geologic period, between the Neogene and the Quaternary, that they won't tell us about.

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Flettner Rotor

"And in maritime news, the Coast Guard is on the scene today after an apparent collision between two lighthouses."

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iNaturalist Animals and Plants

Washington, DC: Eastern gray squirrel, Amur honeysuckle. Puerto Rico: Crested anole, sea grape. US as a whole: Mallard, eastern poison ivy.

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Replication Crisis

Maybe encouraging the publication of null results isn't enough--maybe we need a journal devoted to publishing results the study authors find personally annoying.

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Echo Chamber

This is almost as bad as the time I signed up for a purely partisan fishing expedition.

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Unsolved Physics Problems

'Tin pest' makes more sense to me. Tin just doesn't want to be locked down in a shape like that. I get it. But why would any metal want to grow hair??

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Building a Fire

That was quicker than usual! The cabin's sprinkler system often makes it really hard to keep anything lit.

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Fix This Sign

We're building on our earlier success getting web developers to pay to change the backslashes in our displayed payment URL to forward slashes.

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Geology Murder

After determining that his body was full of pipes carrying iron-rich fluid, our current theory is that the dagger-shaped object precipitated within the wound.

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Artificial Gravity

Low gravity can cause bone loss, so we're pleased to report that, since we initiated capsule motion, the number of bones in each crew member has been steadily increasing.

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Global Ranking

Starting a meta-leaderboard for tracking who holds the record for ranking behind the most distinct people on an online leaderboard.

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Dehumidifier

It's important for devices to have internet connectivity so the manufacturer can patch remote exploits.

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Laser Danger

To combat the threat, many airlines are installing wing-mounted spray bottles.

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Weather Balloons

Once you add the balloons into the model, it makes forecasting easier overall--the forecast is always 'cold and dark, with minimal solar-driven convection.'

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Farads

'This HAZMAT container contains radioactive material with activity of one becquerel.' 'So, like, a single banana slice?'

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Interoperability

We're getting a lot of complaints from commuters who were routed onto a coaster, but the theme park patrons who spent hours stuck on an intercity line are also not happy.

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Tukey

Numbers can be tricky. On the day of my 110th birthday, I'll be one day younger than John Tukey was on his.

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Exoplanet System

Sure, this exoplanet we discovered may seem hostile to life, but our calculations suggest it's actually in the accretion disc's habitable zone.

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Reading a Big Number

[desperately] Maybe this is from some country where they use commas as decimal points, and also as digit separators after the decimal, and also use random other characters for decoration???

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Good Science

If you think curiosity without rigor is bad, you should see rigor without curiosity.

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Alert Sound

With a good battery, the device can easily last for 5 or 10 years, although the walls probably won't.

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Neighbor-Source Heat Pump

The installation of the pipes on the inside of the insulation can be challenging, especially when the neighbor could come home at any minute.

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Trojan Horse

Ultimately, history would imperfectly record the story of the Foal of Troy.

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Bridge Types

Pontoon bridges are just linear open-sided waterbeds.

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Check Engine

They say it's probably safe to keep orbiting for a while, but if it stays on or starts flashing we might have to call someone.

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Archaea

Under the two-domain system, anyone who punches you is technically an Archaean pathogen.

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Mass Spec

Patients at least found it to be an improvement over Millikan's incredibly messy and unpleasant oil drop suspension procedure.

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Drafting

A 5% efficiency gain at the cost of a 99% efficiency loss

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Baker's Units

169 is a baker's gross.

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Renormalization

Applying renormalization to bullies successfully transformed Pete & Pete's Endless Mike into Finite Mike.