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xkcd.com: A webcomic of romance and math humor.

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Ping

Progress on getting shipwrecked sailors to adopt ICMPv6 has been slow.

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Measure Twice, Cut Once

"Measure zero times, cut zero times." --carpenter who has achieved enlightenment and realized the wood is fine where it is

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100% All Achievements

I'm trying to share my footage of the full run to prove it's not tool-assisted, but the uploader has problems with video lengths of more than a decade.

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Hiking

Every downhill walk is a waterslide that might have been.

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Fantastic Four

One perk of being born at 0.88c is that your birthday is over two days long.

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Piercing

Some lava around the piercing site is normal, but keep an eye out for spreading earthquakes and eruptive activity that might indicate rifting.

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Phase Changes

People looking for the gaps in our understanding where the meaning of consciousness or free will might hide often turn to quantum uncertainty or infinite cosmologies, as if we don't have breathtakingly complex emergent phenomena right there in our freezers.

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Question Mark

Although now people will realize three-per-em space that all this time I've been using weird medium mathematical space whitespace characters in my hair space hair space hair space speech dot dot dot...

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-Style Pizza

If you want to see true audacity, do an image search for 'Altoona-style pizza.'

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Mantle Model

Mantle plumes explain Hawaii, Yellowstone, Iceland, the East African Rift, the Adirondack uplift, the Permian extinction, the decline of Rome, the DB Cooper hijacking, and the balrog in Moria. Those little hills of sand in your yard are caused by antle plumes.

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Biology Department

Welcome to the Linguistics Department - It has been [2] [DAYS] since someone noticed that the Biology Department sign has a one-day-long singular/plural disagreement after it resets.

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Chess Variant

The draw-by-repetition rule does a good job of keeping players from sliding a tile back and forth repeatedly, but the tiles definitely introduce some weird en passant and castling edge cases.

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Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure

A person with two watches is never sure what time it is, especially if I got them one of the watches.

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Cursed Number

Another group of mathematicians is working to put an upper bound on the number, although everyone keeps begging them to stop.

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Pull

Be careful fighting gravity. If you win, it's a long way down.

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Sea Level

They're up there with coral islands, lightning, and caterpillars turning into butterflies.

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Wavefunction Collapse

Wavefunction collapse is only one interpretation. Under some interpretations, graduate students also have souls.

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Dual Roomba

I tried uploading it to a household appliance porn site I found, but apparently their content is limited to only fans.

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Coastline Similarity

Hey! A bunch of the early Cretaceous fossils on each coast seem to have been plagiarized, too!

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Cesium

Someday I hope to find a way to mess up a recipe so badly that it draws the attention of the International Air Transport Association, the International Mathematical Olympiad, or the NSA.

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Predicament

I dropped my phone while trying to search, and I tried to unlock it from up here, so can you also search for screen repair places?

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Archaeology Research

The academic archaeology establishment is suppressing my breakthroughs because of the disruption it would bring to their prepared-core flake-based toolmaking industry.

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Thread Meeting

Hey, so did you ever finish your video series about Cassie and the caterpillar morph? I loved the first three, but never ... no, sorry, I get it, this isn't the place. Sorry! Sorry.

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Where Babies Come From

Historians: Contemporaneous documentation of the initial events is often sparse, and in fact people often get testy and uncooperative when we urge better documentation for the historical record.

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Disclaimer

You say no human would reply to a forum thread about Tom Bombadil by writing and editing hundreds of words of text, complete with formatting, fancy punctuation, and two separate uses of the word 'delve'. Unfortunately for both of us, you are wrong.

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Snake-in-the-Box Problem

Chemistry grad students have been spotted trying to lure campus squirrels into laundry hampers in the hope that it sparks inspiration.

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Grounded

We should have you at the gate in just under two hours--two and a half if we get pulled over.

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Canon

Achilles was a mighty warrior, but his Achilles' heel was his heel.

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Bad Map Projection: Interrupted Spheres

During the most recent glacial maximum, it's believed that land bridges extended from the surfaces and connected several of the spheres together.

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Kite Incident

Detectives say the key to tracking down the source of the kites was a large wall map covered in thumbtacks and string. 'It's the first time that method has ever actually worked,' said a spokesperson.