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Defector
26 Apr 19:30 • Israel Daramola

Is Magic-Pistons The Most Interesting Series So Far?

The top-seeded Detroit Pistons are quietly in a lot of trouble. Not just because they are down 2-1 in their series against the eighth-seeded Orlando Magic, but because in those two losses Orlando has looked like the superior team. The Magic have looked faster, tougher, and l...

Defector
26 Apr 19:30 • Israel Daramola

Ayo Dosunmu Had Himself A Game

Picture it: You're the Minnesota Timberwolves and two of your starters have just gone down with severe injuries in the first half of Game 4, including your best player Anthony Edwards. You're up 2-1 in the series but the Denver Nuggets have momentum going into the half. Well...

Defector
24 Apr 19:18 • Giri Nathan

Don’t Make The Tiny Man Dribble While Everyone Else Stands Still

Basketball is a sport where five teammates work together to dribble and pass the ball up the court and ultimately toss it into the hoop. Certain exceptions exist. For instance, the final possessions of a close New York Knicks playoff game. Here basketball is a sport where a ...

Defector
24 Apr 18:33 • Samer Kalaf

Tony Dokoupil Is Still Eating Shit, Even If No One’s Watching

Chances are you haven't seen or thought of Tony Dokoupil in a while, and you wouldn't be alone. Dokoupil's CBS Evening News is lagging well behind ABC and NBC's nightly news programs, recently dropping under 4 million viewers per night. But TV ratings aren't necessary for wh...

Defector
24 Apr 17:21 • Kelsey McKinney

How Close To The Stanford Prison Experiment Can A Reality Show Get?

"Ahoy there, perverts!" are the first words out of Gabby Windey's mouth. The host of the new Hulu show Love Overboard stands on the deck of a 280-foot superyacht named The Chakra, wearing a gorgeous, slinky dress with cut-out sections. "Welcome to Love Overboard!" she says, ...

Defector
24 Apr 17:09 • Patrick Redford

Jaden McDaniels Will Fight You Every Step Of The Way

Much has been made of the arid state of NBA rivalries, a parched climate that owes itself to, depending on who you ask, player empowerment, AAU culture, the parity era, or the internet's anti-geographic effects. There's something to this, though all but the most committed Ce...

Defector
24 Apr 15:06 • Alex Sujong Laughlin

Lena Dunham Can’t Help Herself

There’s an apocryphal story concerning the original pitch for Girls: Supposedly, Lena Dunham wrote it on the back of a cocktail napkin. It was all vibes but no plot or fleshed-out characters, and situated the show concept somewhere between Gossip Girl and Sex and the City. I...

Defector
24 Apr 15:06 • Abigail Segel

What’s Parenting Lily Yohannes Like? An Interview With Her Dad

Lily Yohannes plays soccer with an efficiency that would come off as mechanical if she didn't have the vision of an artist, resulting in some of the most beautiful dribbling sequences and long through balls that have ever graced a pitch. Indeed, the 18-year-old OL Lyonnes st...

Defector
24 Apr 15:06 • Tara Ariano

‘The Rockford Files’ Remains One Of Television’s Greatest Hangs

It’s Los Angeles in the 1970s. Cars are as long as boats. Beachside tacos are practically free. The sun glares through chunky brown fog, but does nothing to prevent assorted bad acts from happening. A man with a casual, even careless manner may not seem to have what it takes...

Defector
23 Apr 19:06 • David Roth

Making Noises At Jim Nantz, With Aaron Schatz

It's a tough situation for Drew. While he has dialed up his football fandom to super-sicko levels (complimentary) in recent years, my interest in the sport has remained stubbornly around average. When we discussed having an NFL Draft-focused episode of The Distraction, we we...

Defector
23 Apr 18:06 • Drew Magary

The NFL May Be Biting Off More Than It Can Chew

Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday at Defector during the NFL season. Got something you wanna contribute? Email the Roo. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it. The NFL Draft starts tonigh...

Defector
23 Apr 16:51 • John Semley

A Rob Schneider Comedy Show May Be Long And Expensive, But At Least It’s Boring

PHILADELPHIA — On the afternoon of April 9, 2026, partisans of the Albertan separatist movement—who rally for the landlocked province’s secession from the broader, united commonwealth of Canada, and the establishment of a self-sufficient petro-state bankrolled by the its amp...

Defector
23 Apr 16:03 • Israel Daramola

All That Matters Is That It Bangs

Welcome to Listening Habits, a column where I share the music and musical topics I’ve been fixated on recently. The first time I ever noticed that I was being sold to by the shadowy music industry in a way that didn't feel genuine to me was with the arrival of a l...

Defector
23 Apr 15:48 • Kelsey McKinney

Bonk! This Ball Went Somewhere New!

There are 30 Major League Baseball teams, and every summer they play a combined 2,430 games. There is baseball on every day all the time. Someone is always hitting a ground ball into a 6-4-3 double play, or going on an eight-game losing streak, or smashing a home run deep in...

Defector
23 Apr 15:48 • Kathryn Xu

One Night At Formula 1’s Drunk-Driving Simulator

A couple of the members of Defector’s Philadelphia bureau received an invitation, approximately one year ago, to attend the official launch of the city's F1 Arcade (pretty much what it sounds like), with DJ Jazzy Jeff. None of us were able to attend. Ever since then, until t...

Defector
23 Apr 15:48 • Luis Paez-Pumar

Chelsea Manager Gets Fired, As All Chelsea Managers Do

As of Wednesday, three teams in the Premier League have fired at least two managers this season. Two of the clubs are Nottingham Forest (who has fired a whopping three managers within one season) and Tottenham Hotspur, both mired in the relegation battle to varying degrees. ...

Defector
23 Apr 15:48 • Tom Ley

Mike Vrabel To Seek Counseling Over “Completely Innocent Interaction” With Dianna Russini

Patriots head coach Mike Vrabel has another life update for us. Here's what he had to say at his second press conference of the week, on Wednesday evening: As I said the other day, I promised my family, this organization and this team that I was going to give them the best...

Defector
23 Apr 13:45 • Barry Petchesky

Philadelphia’s Hottest Club Is The Penalty Box

This isn't Berghain; they're not going to turn you away at the door; the more the merrier. Everybody who's anybody is in the penalty box in South Philly, from the generation's greatest skater to the lowliest goon. And by the time the lights were turned on and everyone scurri...

Defector
22 Apr 19:45 • Ray Ratto

The Yankees Want To Dress Like All The Other Baseball Teams

There's no predicting which silly story will become the next unhinged national sociopolitical argument. It is clear how it happens—enough people pretend to be upset about it on television and social media that some other, softer-brained people get upset about it for real—but...

Defector
22 Apr 18:09 • Ray Ratto

Is It Wrong To Use The Fear Of A Vengeful Easter Bunny To Get My Kid To Eat?

Welcome back to Minor Dilemmas, where a member of Defector's Parents Council will answer your questions on surviving family life. Have a question? Email us at minordilemmas@defector.com.

This week, Ray offers advice on how to get your toddler to sit down to eat at the dinner table.

At Easter dinner, my two year old refused to sit in his chair. Reasoning, threatening, and pleading made no difference. I then had the desperate idea to conjure up a monster to help: I told him that the Easter bunny puts bad little boys in Easter eggs and turns them into chocolate if they don't listen to parents. He immediately stayed in his chair. I've since brought up the Easter bunny twice when he's behaving badly and: prompt, complete compliance. Is this good parenting, or great parenting?

Defector
22 Apr 16:24 • Lauren Theisen

This Frickin’ Guy

If you ever come across a 35-goal scorer with a chip on his shoulder bigger than the state of Florida, just turn around and skate the other way. Brandon Hagel has been a crucial piece of the Tampa Bay Lightning roster for over four years now—a wicked penalty killer and two-w...

Defector
22 Apr 16:03 • Patrick Redford

Micro Aura Transgressions, With Giri Nathan

Ciao e buongiorno! This week on the show, we welcomed back your friend and ours Giri Nathan to talk about the NBA playoffs and some other stuff. As to the former: Our discussion took place hours after Giri's beloved Knicks and also beloved Nuggets lost at home in a pair of Game 2s, and those two games took up the bulk of the discussion. We also got to Harry's impression of Jordan Peterson crying about SGA's free throws, my beach-informed theory of the Lakers–Celtics rivalry, and Giri's Nikola Jokic expertise.

As to the other stuff: We also had a lengthy discussion of a16z's horrible new TBPN clone, and the ways it is and is not the future of media, and what that means. We closed the show with some tennis chat, before some guys digging in the street severed Giri's internet connection. This was a fun one!

Defector
22 Apr 15:24 • Dave McKenna

Nats To Fans: Hey Everybody, Look What Dumbasses Our Players Are!

Two underfunded and underperforming D.C.-based operations, the Washington Nationals and the National Park Service, showed their asses on social media this week.

The Nats’ Twitter team got the ball rolling with a video that attempted to be ha-ha funny by asking players and a broadcaster to name their “favorite store on the National Mall.” This is part of the cancer spreading across sports social media staffs, where lots of time and alleged creativity is spent making everybody look and feel dumb. The “joke” is … there are no stores at the National Mall! Gotcha! It’s a national park, not a retail outpost! Get it?

“National Mall, where’s that?” says shortstop C.J. Abrams.

Defector
22 Apr 15:09 • Ray Ratto

Billy Donovan Hops Onto The NBA’s Slow-Moving Coaching Carousel

Billy Donovan seemed all set to become the dominant figure in the Chicago Bulls' basketball hierarchy, having not only outlasted the team's head of basketball operations and its general manager but getting an oversold but still noticeable vote of approval from the person who...

Defector
22 Apr 15:09 • Kathryn Xu

Formula 1’s Emergency Midseason Regulation Changes, Explained

After unceasing complaints from drivers, fans, teams, and team principals, along with a healthy dose of outside humiliation, the FIA and various Formula 1 manufacturing authorities took the opportunity of no April races to implement overhauls to the vastly unpopular 2026 reg...

Defector
22 Apr 15:09 • Albert Burneko

Pete Hegseth Adds New Weapon To American Warfighter Loadout: Influenza

The U.S. Department of Defense will no longer mandate flu vaccination for military service members or civilian personnel, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Tuesday, in a tweeted video that nothing shy of a credible imminent threat to murder my entire family could make...

Defector
22 Apr 13:06 • Patrick Redford

The Scariest Part Of A Concussion Is The Uncertainty

With 8:57 left in the second quarter of what had been a pretty entertaining Game 2 between the San Antonio Spurs and Portland Trail Blazers, Victor Wembanyama lost his footing while driving on Jrue Holiday, slipped, fell, and slammed his face into the hardwood. He left the g...

Defector
21 Apr 19:00 • Drew Magary

A Game Of ‘Clue’ Turns Into Open Warfare

Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it. Today, we're talking juicers, the Spock market, airplane seat prep, and more.

Your letters:

Brendan:

Defector
21 Apr 17:42 • Israel Daramola

Mike Vrabel Says a Whole Lot Of Nothing About Dianna Russini Photos

Patriots coach Mike Vrabel decided to have a press conference today, addressing the media for the first time since those eyebrow-raising photos of him and now former NFL insider Dianna Russini were published. What did Vrabel want to tell everyone? It's not really clear based...

Defector
21 Apr 17:24 • Lauren Theisen

Can’t Miss That

The Carolina Hurricanes spent Game 1 displaying exactly why they're among the East's favorites. After the Ottawa Senators dropped Game 2 in double overtime, they're left ruing all the opportunities they didn't take advantage of in a much more evenly played game. Against thes...