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Toasting Marshmallows

We have two 'in case of fire, break glass' boxes, which you pick between based on how big of a problem the fire is. One has an extinguisher, and one has sticks, marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate.

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Airport Meeting

Although it was a setback for physics, I'm glad the particle naming rights issue led to the cancelation of Pizza Hut's Superconducting Super Collider in the early 90s, so the Double Stuffed Extra Cheese Topping Quark ended up just being named 'top quark.'

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Offside

The arbiter gave my knight a red card for capturing with cleats up :(

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Types of Tornado Alert

I hate the unearthly sound my phone makes when the weather service issues a tornado harbinger.

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Holes

If you're thinking 'Wait, a giant crystal cave in Mexico? What's that?' then I'm SO excited for the image search you're about to do.

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Asteroid Threat

Paleontologists have long worried that the dinosaurs blasted into space 66 million years ago will one day complete their orbits and fall back down.

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720 Ollie

This discovery was key to his demonstration of regular/goofy symmetry violation, which won him gold in the theory portion of the X Games.

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Baryon Asymmetry

Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?

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Sports Commentary

The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.

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Side Effect

Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.

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Messi

Commentators agree that this will probably be the last World Cup in which Messi faces serious competition.

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Tethys

In order to carry the necessary crafting supplies, they built the ships at 12:1 scale.

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Plate Flip

It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.

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Beam Pipe

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom

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Nostalgia Content

Gen-Z got a chunk of the Carboniferous, and now all their memes are about how pathetic and small today's dragonflies are.

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Planetary Science

The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.

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Detector

No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.

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Sunbeam

While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, the unconscious ability of astronomers and astrophotographers to summon clouds is more properly classified as a curse.

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Ancestral Genomes

SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.

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Time Machine Conversation

It's possible to do sea navigation without a compass, but you'll have to get some spoilers from the Polynesians.

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Flag Design

Every place has a local cryptid; more places need a local Pictish Beast, a creature in historical art that's drawn so weirdly that no one can tell what animal it's supposed to be.

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Neutrino Project

We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.

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182.8 Meters

They rounded down to 182.8 instead of rounding up to 182.9 because 182.9 might make the statement incorrect.

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Particle Census

Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.

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Speedrun

Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.

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Results Age

Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you're the last living descendant of the person who knew how to format this config file.

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Pullback Drive

"How does the spring not run out almost immediately?" "We pull it back REALLY far."

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Crystal Gazing

'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.

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Aperiodic Table

Scientists occasionally invent alternative periodic table layouts, which is usually a sign that they don't have enough enrichment in their enclosures.

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Horizontal Stabilizers

It started as a mistake that everyone was afraid to admit to, and then it stuck because removing it 'looks silly.'.