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“I fell asleep while reading it.” —Jim Christensen
Hi.
My name is Mike and this is my newsletter.
Every week I answer one of your questions. The question can be about anything you want, but I'll only answer it if I think I can give a good answer.
To ask a question, just fill out this simple form.
Why the hell should I subscribe to this?
Well, you shouldn’t. You should go outside and plant a garden. You should start a band! You should go explore every part of the world you’ve ever wanted to see. You should learn Italian, French, or Tagalog. You should volunteer your time to an organization that works with disadvantaged youth. You should go teach an ESL class for immigrants at the local community college. You should spend your time tracking down abusive priests, like some sacred Avenger.
Those are the things you should do. And I encourage you to do them.
Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter because you want to. In addition to doing some of those things above.
How often will this shit hit my inbox?
Weekly.
Do you charge for the newsletter?
Nope. The newsletter is free. You can, however, gimme $2 a month to show your appreciation, and because you want to support independent writing. But everyone sees the same thing. I don’t have special hidden stuff for paid subscribers.
Who did that drawing in your newsletter header, and is it supposed to be you?
My friend, the wonderful Kate Bingaman-Burt. And yes.
Is there any hope for the world?
No, but there's a lot of work to do.
- Fetched
How to mend a broken heart
Update on large painting. It’s all smooth now! Two more weeks.
$2 a month helps me keep this newsletter going. Thanks.
This week’s question comes to us from Shani Jayant:
What’s the right amount of heartache in times like these?
I hope my heart never stops breaking.
Earlie...
How to get out of bed
Making slow but sure progress on this very large painting.
Enjoying the newsletter? $2/mo is one way to show your love.
This week’s question comes to us anonymously:
Mike, how do I get out of bed every day? How do I try?
Last night, like a lot of people, I sat down to watc...
Interrupting cow says wha…
Hello loves,
Sorry to interrupt everyone in the middle of the week (I’m not), but if this showed up in your inbox it’s because I really, really, really like you. And I want you to come to tomorrow’s book event.
I’ll be talking to the amazing Sacha Judd about my new book, H...
How to use NO as a complete sentence
Happy Pride. I found this sticker on a rack when I was chaining up my bike.
If you enjoy this newsletter please consider giving me $2/mo to help keep it going.
This week’s question comes to us anonymously:
I did my job fine before AI came along. Now my workplace ‘suggests’...
How to remember and forget
This massive thing is currently in progress.
🍳 Enjoying the newsletter? Join the $2 Lunch Club! 🥓
This week’s question comes to us from Jim Christensen:
Do you have any tricks for forgetting? I wish there were as many for forgetting as there are for remembering. How do yo...
How to be a carnival barker
My tween neighbor kept a list of my cussing at my book reading and presented it to me on her way out. 😍
Enjoying this newsletter? Join the $2 Lunch Club!
This week’s question comes to us from Ani King:
My first book is coming out this year and I have a hard time with self ...
How to deal with your kid leaving
A really fucked up Daffy Duck I painted yesterday
This week’s question comes to us anonymously:
My child is in high school and I’ve been in deep mourning for the last two years that they’ll (likely) be leaving me first for college, and then for...life! What advice do you ha...
How to pick a movie
Female Trouble, John Waters, 1974
THIS MONDAY! May 11. Join me and Annalee Newitz at The Booksmith where we discuss my new book, How to Die (& other stories). Free!
This week’s question comes to us from Ben Bartosik:
What are your top ten favorite movies?
Oh hey, a f...
How to smoke
The best part of smoking was always the click of the Zippo.
This week’s question comes to us from Mat Honan:
I used to love to smoke. If it weren’t for the whole lung cancer, emphysema, death thing, would you recommend smoking?
You’re forgetting the smell.
Last week I was c...
How to read
Join me and Annalee Newitz on May 11 at Booksmith! RSVP, please.
This week’s question comes to us from Jonathan Stephens:
I want to write like you when I grow up. What potential paths would you recommend to travel towards?
Whatever path gets you to the library the quickest...
How to eat pizza
I did a photo shoot with the new book and things quickly went south.
This week’s question comes to us from Michael Walsh:
Can I eat the last slice of pizza in the box?
This is the wrong question to be asking.
The better question is “Am I hungry?” An even better follow-up qu...
How to usher in an era of abundant donuts
photo of Artemis donuts by Mark Jacquet, Engineer at NASA Ames Research Center
This week’s question comes to us anonymously:
What would you say to someone who proclaims, “I want to be a donut maker,” but has never actually made a single donut in their life?
You say “That’s ...
How to talk to plants
This new painting is beginning to get somewhere.
This week’s question comes to us from Dana Chisnell:
Do you talk to plants? Should I talk to my plants?
Do I talk to plants? Yes. I talk to everything. I am constantly in conversation with all manner of objects, both animate ...
How to love your neighbors
More ducks. I may not stop painting ducks.
This week’s question comes to us from Tuan Son Nguyen:
How do you form a circle of like-minded people to keep your sanity when so many horrible things are happening?
I’m not exactly sure when this happened, or what triggered it. B...
How to do the work
I’m paintings ducks.
This week’s question comes to us from Tony:
How do you keep doing a thing you love, that you’ve done for decades, when you hate what the industry for it has become (and your continued health insurance and ability to sleep indoors depends on it?)
Find so...
How to love comics
Had to. (Wanted to.) Jack Kirby and Joe Simon.
This week’s question comes to us from Betsy Streeter:
What is the most powerful artistic medium and why is it comics?
Because it’s the most accessible.
When I was a little kid growing up in the Logan section of Philadelphia th...
How to start a record collection
This week’s question comes to us from YuYu Schatz:
I recently got my first record player. What records should I get?
Congrats. I’m sorry.
I tried to talk everyone out of buying vinyl not too long ago. It’s expensive. It’s a pain in the ass if you move. It takes up way too ...
How to grow strawberries
Feels so good to have a studio again.
This week’s question comes to us from Anthea Tawia:
I came to San Francisco to visit the company I work for—sadly I was let go the first day I visited the office. I’m early in my career, worked there about 5ish months and really felt th...
How to listen to records
Yes, I bought a 3D printer just to make whistles. Fuck ICE.
This week’s question comes to us from Alan McCoy:
What's your process for welcoming a new record into your collection?
Ok, so here’s a recent story. A few weeks ago I headed to one of my locals with a bag of record...
How to raise children
A wee little painting (11×14”, sans stick) I made last week. This one got auctioned off on Bluesky to help folks in Minnesota. I’m making more.
This week’s question comes to us from April Piluso:
My daughter turns 3 this month. I want to help her have fewer troubles than I ...
How to vote early and often
First painting in my new studio! This is The Einbinder Trilogy.
Enjoy this newsletter? Gimme $2/mo. This is labor.
This week’s question comes to us anonymously:
Is voting an illusion?
Short answer, ehhhhh… no. Voting is real. Too many people have died for the right to vote...
How to survive high school
My friend Milly’s well-manicured hand holding a test copy of my new book! It’s SO pretty.
This week’s question comes to us from Nika:
I am 14 years old. I have friends my age. They’re nice, I like them, but they are sort of boring—even the weird ones!—and it’s hard to hav...
How to haunt a house
Our grandmother’s house
READ TO THE BOTTOM FOR AN EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!
This week’s question comes to us from Betsy Streeter:
Do you think houses can be haunted?
Yes.
On my recent trip to Portugal my cousin Irina and I walked to my grandmother’s house. My grandmother live...
How to fix a Kit Kat clock
I haven’t started making anything in my new art studio yet, but I organized!
This week’s question comes to us from Gwen Dubois:
How do I keep functioning in a capitalist world?
I am going to tell you a very shameful story.
Erika got me a Kit Kat clock for Christmas. For tho...
How to feel wonderful
New art studio taking shape!
This week’s question comes to us from Kylie Gusset:
What makes you feel wonderful?
Ok, yeah. So… the last couple of newsletters were heavy. Dead fathers. Crazy families. Feelings. (Y’all were so nice with your replies. Thank you.) This was all fo...
How to attend a funeral
There’s no question this week. This newsletter is part two of last week’s newsletter.
My father was buried on Sunday in the town of Alcobaça, where he grew up. The service, which included a full Catholic mass at my mother’s request, was held in a small chapel right next t...
How to bury your father
This week’s question comes to us anonymously:
How do you lovingly care for an aging parent who treated you like shit?
This question has been sitting in my inbox for almost two years. While I fear that I’ve waited too long to possibly help the person who asked it—for which I...
How to get through cold, wet, dreary days
Huzzah. I finally got a new studio. Haven’t moved in yet.
💰 Gimme $2/mo if you’re enjoying this. 💰
This week’s question comes to us from Jim Christensen:
How do you get through cold, wet, dreary days?
Last week was pretty great. It was Thanksgiving weekend, which is histo...
How to avoid listening to Radiohead
Read all the way to the bottom for your goodie stocking.
💰 Support my bullshit for $2/mo💰
This week’s question comes to us from Mike Jacobsen:
I love Radiohead. My wife, on the other hand, really hates them. We have come to an understanding that their music won’t be playe...