By now, you’ve noticed our brave patriots—ICE, the National Guard, police officers, select local mall cops, rando bodyguards, weird little incels, Klan members, Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, some dudes we don’t know cosplaying as Walker, Texas Ranger—patrolling your city. Maybe ...
I wear the same T-shirt every day, and I have a relatably unkempt haircut. I remind you of the smart kids from high school, so I give you hope that the future might be okay. My company has a slogan like “Connect Everyone” or “Build Beautiful Stuff,” and I promise you that we...
INTERVIEWER: Chemical engineer Dr. Chesel Amniotiv is looking resplendent in orange gabardine, with cobalt accents of actual cobalt. Let’s see if we can get a word in… Dr. Amniotiv, who are you wearing this evening? DR. AMNIOTIV: This is a Bob Mackie lab coat whose hem-to-se...
Life in the big city can be many things. But mostly it is hard, expensive, and exhausting. Occasionally, it can smell like poop. Above all, it is confounding. So, when the city seems to be throwing all kinds of confusing omens and symbols your way, why not turn to a little d...
“Goose is a jam band. Geese is indie rock. They both have new albums. They’re also both on tour. Confused? We can help.” — New York Times - - -
FREDDIE: Hey, Eddie. EDDIE: Hey, Freddie. FREDDIE: So Eddie, I’m putting together a playlist for the Audubon event. EDDIE: Who’s on...
President Trump had another successful week of what is already the greatest presidency of all time, and yet, the woke leftist mob continues to deliberately foment violence by labeling our administration as “fascist.” Donald Trump deserves nothing but praise, and I, Stephen M...
At Bombay Beach, a half-ruined former vacation town on the edge of the Salton Sea, absurdist philosophers, artists, and everyday townsfolk have undertaken a postapocalyptic experiment in radical living. - - -
It is easy to miss California’s biggest environmental disaster. D...
FUCK YOU, BRIAN!
- - - FUCK YOU, BRIAN! Also, please tell your neighbor to the right (your left) that I apologize for smashing their window.
- - - If Brian receives this: FUCK YOU! If Brian’s Neighbor receives this: I need you to know that I’m standing directly across fr...
1. Pearl Jam1 2. Old Lady Curtains2 3. Blind Melon3 4. Alice in Chains4 5. Judge Judy in a Bathrobe5 6. Garbage6 7. Smashing Pumpkins7 8. Toad the Wet Sprocket8 9. Angry Rainbow9 10. Yeah Yeah Yeahs10 11. Nine Inch Nails11 12. Pledge Drive Tote Bag12 13. Red Hot Chili Pepper...
“An ‘AI actor’ named Tilly Norwood has been causing a stir after its Dutch creators said the synthetic performer is in talks with talent agencies.” — BBC - - -
Museum of Bad Decisions begins with a promising premise and a visually rich setting—the Crystal Bridges Museum of A...
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but Democrats are dangerously close to keeping health insurance costs from spiking. We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but that’s just how things go when you only control all three branches of government. We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdow...
Goonies Since strangers will call the police if kids in the Goon Docks wander around on their own, the boys don’t get a chance to search for One-Eyed Willy’s gold. Instead, they compete in a Mr. Beast challenge in hopes of winning enough money to save their parents’ home. Sa...
To the woman at the bra store who clocked me as a “Gerry” in reference to my G-cup breasts when I was coming of age, I’m certain you haven’t spared one thought for me since our only encounter nearly twenty years ago. But your impact on my life has been so significant that I’...
I care deeply about my students’ learning, but with all the new technologies available to help them cut corners, I worry that they’re not doing the deep thinking necessary to learn. That’s why I’ve been prompting AI to create lesson plans and assignments for me that will eng...
Welcome, neighbors, come on in. There’s plenty of room for everyone, aside from God. He has no place inside this well-ventilated, open-concept embodiment of runaway capitalism. What you see before you is my 14,000-square-foot testament to taste, triumph, and unrepentant hubr...
“A comedy festival in the capital of Saudi Arabia has become a cultural flash point as major comedians face criticism for accepting seemingly lucrative deals to perform in a country that was virtually impossible to visit until 2019 and a pariah in much of the West for its hu...
“President Trump’s declaration on Saturday that he had authorized the use of federal forces to ‘protect war-ravaged’ Portland, Ore., prompted bewilderment and frustration—and more than a little sarcasm—in the city this weekend.” — New York Times - - -
Help reshelve the book...
Welcome to your new high-end Italian espresso machine. Or should we say, bonjourno? Yes, we should. Your espresso machine only speaks Italian. To get the most out of the machine, you must learn the language. We will wait. Fourteen Months Later. Remove the machine from the bo...
Hey, thanks so much for coming tonight. I’ve just checked with everyone else at the party, and we’re all in agreement that you behaved really normally and didn’t say anything weird or worrying at all. - - -
Even though your face looks alarmingly like a mole’s in that picture...
How you do anything is how you do everything. If you don’t put your best foot forward at every single opportunity, then you are wasting the precious few steps you have on this earth. You can’t half ass things. Everything you do, do it with your best foot and your entire ass....
Places Charles Johnson’s drawings appeared when he was a young cartoonist: A catalog for a magic company Mimeographed church bulletins The Daily Egyptian The Southern Illinoisan - - -
For more than forty years, Charles Johnson has been a fixture on the literary scene in Se...
Well, here we are. Although many believed that aggressive cuts to our country’s arts funding and national granting organizations by our current administration would have made it impossible to continue to mount adventurous performances of creative merit, we are overjoyed to p...
Calm down, Chicken Little. The stock market is not a bubble. Just because it’s a thin sphere of liquid that expands every second of every day doesn’t mean it’s a bubble. It could be anything. You’re worried. You’re saying numbers can’t go up and up forever. I’m saying take a...
A: Hey! Just saw your message. Sorry for the delay—got swallowed by a glacier that migrated south. I’m inside the ice now. Surprisingly roomy. Hope you’re well. B: Oh my god, I’m so glad you made it through. That must’ve been really frightening. I’ve been meaning to check in...
“For this reason, they are strongly recommending that women limit Tylenol use during pregnancy unless medically necessary. That’s, for instance, in cases of extremely high fever, that you feel you can’t tough it out, you can’t do it. I guess there’s that. It’s a small number...
I am a drowning man, sinking under the weight of expectation, pulled toward the murky depths of adult fallibility. I’m glad my children love going to this zoo every weekend, but with each trip around their favorite enclosure, I’m reminded of my mortal limitations. I must sha...
So I’ve been waiting for this meeting for twenty years, actually. And it’s not that everything’s a hundred percent understood or known, but I think we’ve made a lot of strides. I wish it was done a long time ago. Today, we’re delighted to be joined by America’s top medical a...
“CDC panel recommends multiple shots for measles, mumps, rubella, and chickenpox instead of a single vaccine… Experts react with concern that increasing the number of vaccinations required will threaten children’s health.” — The Guardian - - -
At long last, our government is...
“My grandfather used to say ‘and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel’ and I never knew what it meant until after he died my grandmother explained some magazine did a fluff interview with Magda Goebbels a few years before WW2 that included her strudel recipe and my grandfathe...
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